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Never Stop Throwing Candy and Be that girl!

Worry less. Be like her! Easier said than done. But recently, I took the leap, actually a cannonball right into the pool! Let’s move back a little to how I got to that mindset to never stop throwing candy and to be that girl again…


I recently finished the book “Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living” by Shuana Niequist. To say that I fell in love with her words and writing would be an understatement. It motivated me to live more in the present and put aside the hustling and rushing of life (not that I have a choice right now because there is no where to hustle, but I am grateful to be invited to this new norm).

Today I was going through my post it notes and one chapter caught my eye and kinda reminded me of why I posted the above image last week in The Hat Club Community.  The notes were from the chapter called “Throwing Candy”, The chapter talked about a tradition at a lake where people would throw candy at the kayakers as they passed. I don’t mean throwing candy in the sense of throwing it AT them by means of hitting innocent kayakers for your own sick enjoyment, but throwing it AT them for them to catch.. Why did they do it? Because it makes people happy. It’s fun to do. It’s fun to receive. It’s a little treat.

The chapter continued on to say that this day was a particular crazy day with various boats docking, children swimming, and kayakers coming down the coastline. A lot of things could go wrong and the author explains how she was more focused on what could go wrong than the throwing of candy, until someone she was with rushed down to the dock amidst all the chaos and made sure he threw the candy. The kayakers smiled, he enjoyed himself, the kids were safe, all was well. It was at that time that the author states that she began to cry because she used to be that person who would throw the candy amidst the chaos. She used to be that person who could let responsibility go and enjoy the moment – but now she had become the person who made fun of those throwing candy stating “Who has that kind time?”  Sound familiar?

That led me into taking the leap or jump into the pool. My kids are always asking me to come swim with them and I always have an excuse. My main excuse is that I spent at least 8 years in the baby pool, which felt like an eternity. Remember having to put on a bathing suit for the first time after children and then feeling like you are never getting out of the baby pool!  Yes, that feeling! Some of you may still be in the baby pool and just know, that it will get better.

So, I am in this season that my kids all know how to swim and I can sit and read while watching them on the sidelines. I could enjoy a little of that in between the fights and “watch this” or “can you video me”. There are boundaries when I am reading a book because again, it’s time for me to relax a little. But, last Monday on Memorial Day, we weren’t running off to any parties like previous years and we weren’t hosting any guests and of course, it was another COVID holiday- just different. The kids were swimming and Jaxon just got out of the pool to dry off when I asked him to come closer to the pool to pick up the skimmer. At that moment, I decided to take the leap (well, it was a cannonball like I mentioned above). The look on the faces of my kids were priceless and later that night, Mollie (my 10 year old) mentioned how earlier that day, Jaxon (8 year old) had asked her “Why doesn’t mommy ever swim?” And just like that- for a brief moment, the kids forgot about being in quarantine and I forgot about all the worries that I had about cold water or trying to claim my time on the sidelines.

My challenge to you is to take the leap, dance in the rain, jump in the pool…whatever makes you happy. Think about that little girl who walked around barefoot on the sidewalk in the summer sun. Why was I always putting responsibility too far ahead of fun. I was also the person who made fun of those throwing the candy having said “Who has time??” far too many times. It’s a quality I loathe about myself and quite honestly I’m not sure how it became a trait of mine – I have some ideas but none of them really seem to scream out, “Yes!! It was ME!”

Either way, last weekend I decided it was time for a change. I know that if I can take on poor traits, habits, and qualities that I can also take on better habits, traits, and qualities that can push those other ones out of their place in the hierarchy.  I also know that this is going to be difficult to do. Any new habit that you start comes with growing pains, trials, and struggles. Sometimes it’s just easier to go back to what you know and what makes you comfortable; however, it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Over the weekend, I want you to look at some traits, qualities, or habits that you may have adopted along the way that are holding you back from throwing the candy. What is it in your life that you really just feel is a weight? Make sure you choose the one that makes you the most afraid of changing, because it is most likely going to be that one that when altered, sets you free the most.

Come back and let us know how you felt doing those things. Be that girl!

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Finding the Courage to Make a Change


Change… easier said than done!

Finding the courage to make the change may sound like a simple task, but most of the time we say things to show courage but never put them in to action. Last year when I began my journey to self care, yes, it’s totally a thing that I didn’t even know that was needed in my life. It started when I read the book “Girl, Wash Your Face” while on a family cruise. Actually, I even shared the lessons learned from Girl Wash your Face to help inspire you to read the book as well. The following months were filled with books from the “personal development” section of BAM, which I used to refer to as “self help.” Self help!? Ha, I would laugh at the word and question the people who thought they needed self help?  Was it a fad or a real thing? Often I would hear words like meditate and mindfulness, which flowed in one ear and out the other. My actual thought was why would someone like me need this in my life? It’s not that I have been putting myself on the back burner for the past 15 years since I said ‘I do’ — boy, was I wrong! 

I thought that I was doing pretty good on my own, but found myself with crippling headaches, neck and jaw pain and extreme fatigue.

As I did more research on Rachel Hollis and started reading her book recommendations, I had an “aha moment” and faced the harsh truth that maybe I needed to invest some time into my self-care. Don’t get me wrong, I got my hair cut every 6 months or so and had pedicures in the summer months, but apparently that wasn’t enough for my body to feel satisfied. 

After reading multiple books, I thought that I had it all figured out and started sharing my experiences. Sharing my knowledge and trying to implement some of the tactics here and there into my life. I wasn’t really being consistent with my daily routine, but I was doing a great job sharing all of the resources in my online community. I even wrote Why you need to practice self care and would preach self-care as if it was the saving grace. However, I was talking the talk and wasn’t walking the walk.

The headaches and pains continued and one day on the phone with my sister she mentioned that maybe I should try some of the ideas that I am sharing. She totally called me out. In my mind, I thought I was trying them but batching self-care into a few hours a week just wasn’t making the cut. I was trying to sneak self care into my daily schedule and it was hit or miss and was definitely not part of my daily routine. I have read and listened over the past year to the word consistency and routine, but found myself living out the “Cliff Notes” version. Things had to change. 

Rachel Hollis recently explained during a conference that It’s not about five seconds of courage. We all can find the willpower to find five minutes of courage, we need to show up every day and build consistency to get through. Consistency is the way you hold all of it together. It doesn’t matter how intense you are, what matters is that you show up and keep showing up even when it gets hard. Create habits and routines that you can create in any environment that ultimately serve you and your lifestyle. If that means waking up a little bit earlier to meditate or exercise than try it out. It is impossible to squeeze in self-care practice here and there to reap the benefits. It actually comes down to a few things like having courage to make the change and to be consistent with it. 

Create leverage to stay consistent on the days when consistency is hard. In order to do that, it has to become a habit.  Build such incredible habits so you don’t need to get motivated. Consistency is not how you motivate yourself, but rather create habits and rituals that are so close to your core that it’s easier to do them than not.

You must have the right mindset. And you know what, if you fall off the track and steer another direction, have the grace to tell yourself “I will try again tomorrow”.

In order to do all of this you need to make the first move. As John Maxwell stated during his presentation on courage. The old riddle that says five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left?  

The answer is 5 because they only “decided” and didn’t take action. That was how I lived the last year of my life. Now that I am taking action, it’s an entirely different mindset. I still have a long way to go in my personal development journey, but the baby steps that I am taking each and every day has been a blessing to my health. The secret is keeping the routine — that’s a one minute mediation (still not able to move to 5), some yoga stretches, and writing down gratitude to set intention for the day. That’s not the only thing that I had to change, but it was a good start. There were also my favorite products to help reduce stress that were part of my daily routine.

Remember, we are only in control of two things in life: our attitude and our effort. So, not matter what you are looking to change in your life, it starts with a small step. Stop just sitting on the log or talking the talk. 

Find the courage to take one step forward in achieving your goals and start “walking the walk.” Come back and share your journey with us or connection with use on social media 


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Products to Help Reduce Stress

Are you looking for products to help reduce stress especially in quarantine when most therapists are closed? I wanted to share with you some of the products that I have purchased over the past year when suffering from headaches and muscle spasms in back and neck. So, I first started with a tennis ball against the wall during prep periods. I am not kidding, The pain was so bad that I would close the door in my classroom to roll my back against the wall to help break up the muscles in my back that were causing neck pain. This led to coming home from school and doing the same thing in my kitchen and my kids would like at me like I had two heads, until they kinda got used to it. I moved myself to the floor because it felt that I could get the tennis ball even deeper, but then I needed something that was a harder – that lead me to a golf ball. Yes, I googled exercise to break up muscles and stop spasms in back to find some really neat videos on moving the arm around when hitting pressure points.

After doing some research in various facebook groups, I decided to test out some of the suggest products from others that were suffering from headaches and muscle spams to find the products listed below. I am so grateful that these were in my house throughout this month of social distancing because my chiropractor, acupuncturist and physical therapist were not taking clients the entire time. For those of you who are also suffering and looking for products to help reduce stress, here are my favorites and  how I used the products daily to help reduce stress that causes headaches and muscles spams.

The Sivan Acupressure mat and pillow set

Sivan Acupressure mat and pillow set

It’s been very difficult to get to Accupuncture during the pandemic, so this Sivan Back and Neck Pain Relief Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set has helped with chronic Back Pain and relieving stress of lower and upper Back as well as sciatic pain caused from tight muscles. This is my go to product when feeling a little anxious cause it seems to shock the system and help calm my nerves.  The pressure of the stimulation points against your body helps promote the release of endorphins which provide a sense of energy, calmness, joy, and pain relief. The mat and pillow offers many health benefits including healthy blood circulation, better sleep, pain relief, and help with digestion. The mat and pillow features thousands of spikes /stimulation points that apply pressure to your body and stimulate the nerve endings which all problems begin in the nerve system. This stimulates blood circulation, will help alleviate pains and aches, it will improve your overall energy levels


When you feel stressed or have low energy, lying on the mat, you will feel a state of deep relaxation and calmness.Simply lie down for a soothing, natural healing experience. We sometimes use the mat to help with headaches by standing barefoot on the mat for 10 min. I totally caught Lucas using it while playing Minecraft on iPad.  Available for $24.99 on Amazon.

Body Back Buddy Trigger Point Back Massager

This is my FAVORITE PRODUCT EVER! Seriously, this has helped me so much release and stop the muscle spasms in my back and I am now using it on my neck. This Body Back Buddy Trigger Point Back Massager  offers  full body muscle pain relief using the handheld massage stick and it comes with full instructions and also a video with examples of how to use. It’s a great investment for $29.95 since it helps soothe painful muscle knots in your back, neck, & shoulders, and speed recovery with 11 knobs in 3 shapes.  Available on Amazon.

Double Lacrosse Ball, Peanut Shape Self Massage Roller

Double Lacrosse Ball, Peanut Shape Self Massage Roller for Back Foot Neck Spine Shoulder Physical Trigger Point Therapy, Deep Tissue Massager Tool Set Pack of 2 (2).

I gave my dad the second one to try for his tight muscles, so maybe you can even split with a friend. At first my kids thought this was a dog toy because it really does look like it, but you will not believe how much it has helped me. Especially since the golf ball started to hurt digging into my back. This is very soft, yet firm and helps release muscle tension and can be used on different parts of the body.

Whether in search of physical therapy device or self care tool for your back, neck or thighs, our massage balls are perfect. Measuring 5 inches (length) and 2.5 inches in width, they are the best choice for bringing your deep tissue relaxation to the next level! Unlike other double lacrosse balls offered on the market, our set includes two levels of hardness: Red (slightly soft) and Black (hard) to suit different user needs in everyday use. While other peanut ball are placed too closely together, our refined interval between two balls to get your massage in the right spot. Made with 100% thermoplastic rubber, our lacrosse balls are odorless, eco-friendly, durable, light, easy to carry and do not crush easily. I used to carry this to school with me for those “prep period” massages against the wall (LOL).

Foam Rollers for Stress Relief

There are so many ways to use a Foam Roller  to help the body heal. One way that I use it is keeping it length wise (like the black & blue are pictured) and lying down on it to stretch rest my head flat with spine. I put my hands behind my neck and let arms hang and this helps stretch my upper back which is especially helpful if you are spending a lot of time on the computer. My physical therapist introduced me to that stretch and it has really helped with proper posture. I usually do some different rolls as well, just to break up the tension. There are a lot of ways but here are 12 Ways to Use Foam Roller that I found beneficial. You can find ton of foam roller sizes available on Amazon or your favorite fitness store.